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Recalling a situation when I was on the crossroads of my life
It's not so, that such situations didn´t arise earlier in my life, but this time along with me, my young son was also standing on crossroads. Such crossroad, that whichever road I would choose, I would encounter dead-end.
Back then, I joined a new job, encrypting my face with a brave, polished smile amidst hostile, indifferent work environment, and least expecting any compassion or empathy towards my ever-growing desperate condition of trying to be financially independent. Facing a snub in the hands of my own family members, financial crises, physical exertion, mental agony, and above all threat to my dignity and self-respect, were all looking at my face with a bold and cynical smile. To top all this, was a challenge to protect my adolescent son, from losing out on his crucial academic year and eventually facing psychological decline. I never felt low, broken, drained, and lonelier before in my life, as this time, ever. It was like two lives just held with the finest of thread.
Whenever my son´s innocent eyes searched for hope on my face as if saying, ´Mumma, I know, like always, you will find a solution this time too.´
But this time I turned my back to him, ´No, my son! This time your Mom is failing you,´ telling him so with my inconspicuous silence. All along, hiding tears to prevent him from seeing his mother from breaking down.
All this time, I had something within me a faint ´FAITH´, that some road will open. I must just ´PRACTICE´ i.e. act.
The situation was getting worse with every passing day and I had no one to turn to for help. I shared my dilemma with my senior colleague who encouraged me to reach out to as many people I could. I was skeptical about doing so as I knew no one would come forward to help me or stand by me, inferring from my previous life experiences. She stirred my low esteem, augmenting that I have nothing to lose at this juncture and I must try every small, maybe weird, seemingly impossible options that I could think of.
On her insistence, I reached out to my blood relations and a few other acquaintances. I just texted, ´I need your help. It's urgent!´ keeping aside my all self-respect and getting ready for another humiliation.
Out of those people, whom I reached out, I received a call from three people, none of them related to me by blood and from whom I least expected any response.
One guided me on call, and another rushed to be with me, in person. The third one assigned his employee to assist me in solving my problem, continuously remaining in touch with the employee, while he, himself was attending the funeral of his beloved mother!
Friends, the purpose of sharing this page out of my life is to express the significance of ´reaching out´. It might look awkward to contact those you were not in touch with for a long time. It might look foolish, indignant too, for what would they say. How they will treat you! But, in the end, what matters most is LIFE. So, reach out to your relatives, friends, foes, and even mere acquaintances, you might feel can be of the minutest of help. You never know, when, and what might click!
REACH OUT!! ACT!! CONNECT!!
Try!! Try till you connect!! Just never give up!!
Today, I sit on my couch, sipping my tea, sometimes, recalling those days, with no grudge, no bitterness at all, but a sense of pride and gratitude towards those who stood by me…. those who did not stand by me. Above all, gratitude towards life for further cementing my resolve to help others help themselves.
After all, EVERY LIFE MATTERS!